Saturday 23 February 2013

Week 8 Update: How do I feel? Let me count the ways ...

We moved house this week. It was a roller coaster ride, and one that isn't quite over. We're bunking in with family for a few weeks until our new house becomes ours. It's been a fitting week for my week 8 challenge: to feel what I feel; no right, no wrong. As my emotions have jumped from one point to the next, I've done my best not to fight them, but instead to notice and just let it be.

Sometimes, this noticing worked really well, like when I felt anxiety over leaving my home of the past six years, or feeling frustration when things didn't go according to my plan. At these times, it felt ok (uncomfortable, but ok) to simply 'be' with my emotions. Then there were other times when my emotions felt strong, but not 'right'; like when I felt angry and frustrated at my husband for no reason (at least no reason of his own making). When this happened (all too frequently for my poor husband's taste), rather than simply taking how I felt for granted and letting my emotions get away from me, I tried to notice what was really going on. Usually, it was my fear/anxiety/exhaustion searching for an outlet. As soon as I realised what I was doing, I could pull back from what was often misplaced emotional expression and 'deal with' or acknowledge what was actually beneath the surface.

Being with my emotions hasn't been particularly fun, but it is teaching me plenty. Now, given I'm feeling exhausted, it's time for a good sleep!

2 comments:

  1. I'm enjoying reading your posts so much! And finding each week you explore and then convey something that I totally relate to. Yesterday both my sister and I went out and accidentally left our phones at home. It was so great. It felt like a relief to have something less to think about, get distracted by and just stay more present in the moment. Enjoy setting into your new home x

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  2. Thanks Natalie!

    It's funny ... my immediate reaction when you mentioned leaving your phone at home was one of panic! I know I would feel utterly lost and disconnected without my phone. I'm so glad you felt the relief of being removed from it instead - a far healthier reaction :)

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